


Guilt

by Emily_F6



Series: Penny Parker Prompts [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Female Peter Parker, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Penny Parker - Freeform, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26159359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emily_F6/pseuds/Emily_F6
Summary: Prompt: Penny feels guilty when she is the reason that someone is hurt and doesn't notice that she is injured.WARNING: This one mentions thoughts of suicide!
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Penny Parker Prompts [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899553
Comments: 6
Kudos: 227





	Guilt

It was her fault.

Her fault.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Her fault. Her heart pounded to that tempo. "Your fault. Your fault. Your fault."

Her fault.

Breathe.

It hurt. Her whole chest hurt. She was covered in his blood.

"Tony? Tony stay with me!" Bruce was shouting on the other side of the quintet and Penny felt like it was her that was slipping away.

She'd been working with him in his lab when Mr. Stark has received the alert from Friday. An arms deal between two groups the Avengers had been keeping an eye on.

"I told you watch the other exit! I told you to wait for orders!" Steve Rogers had never shouted at her before, finger in her face, eyes wild with fury and terror and helplessness. She didn't argue. He was right.

She felt cold. So, absolutely cold. Empty. Pain. Her fault.

If Tony died, she would too, she decided, the thought far away and remote, but also sure. Right. She would deserve it.

She had access to the armory. Finding a gun wouldn't be a problem.

"Tony! Shit! I need some help over here!" Bruce cried.

"I told you to wait! Why didn't you wait?"

"That's enough!" A hand appeared on Steve's chest and he was being pushed back toward Bruce by Clint who had suddenly moved from the cockpit. Who was flying the jet?

"Stop yelling at the kid and help Bruce! Now!"

It was going to be a real Avengers mission! She'd been ridiculously excited as she'd suited up, much to Mr. Stark's amusement. "It's not the whole team, kid. Just us, Cap, Clint, and Bruce just in case."

"Still! My first real mission with the Avengers!"

"You and I went on a mission last week?"

"Yeah, but...you know...this is the Avengers!" He'd given her an incredulous look, eyes playful as he'd slapped a hand to his chest.

"What!? You don't think I'm an Avenger?"

"Well...I mean, yeah...but I'll be going on a mission with Captain America!"

"That's it, Spiderling! You're off the team." She'd giggled, pulling on her mask and racing over to the elevator, practically bouncing on her toes as she'd waited for him to join her. "Captain America." He'd grumbled. "How dare you."

Her fault. Steve moved away from her, hands in fists as he approached the bed where Mr. Stark lay, armor discarded on the ground.

It had been useless against the alien gun.

She'd met Steve Rogers before, at least twice. Always as Spider-Girl, but still. He'd been very nice both times, but this would be her first mission with him. He and Clint had been standing on the quinjet along with Bruce, and all had looked her up and down. "Spider-Girl's gonna join us for this one. She needs the practice."

Steve hadn't argued, just let the team into the jet where Clint had climbed in the pilot seat. "Alright. Tony and I will take the lead. There are going to be alien weapons, so be on the lookout. We haven't dealt with these kinds of weapons before. Hawkeye will be stationed at one of the exits to keep anyone from escaping. There are only two ways in or out of the building. Spider-Girl, you and Bruce will be at the other exit."

It has stung a little, not to be allowed to really take part in the mission. Still, she hadn't complained, instead sitting beside Mr. Stark during the ride over to the city about half an hour away. She would prove to Captain America that he could trust her...that she would be a valuable member of his team.

"Hey." Mr. Stark had bumped her shoulder with his own. "Don't worry about it, Spiderling. It's going to quick...I think he just invited me to make me feel important." She had snorted a little. "He could probably take these guys by himself."

Then he and Steve had been heading into the warehouse, Penny and Bruce waiting at one exit, Clint at the other, all at the ready.

And then Penny's spider sense had gone off...and then there had been so many gunshots.

So she'd run in, finding herself in the middle of a shootout, alien weapons powering up and shooting rays and bullets and Penny had taken down the first guy she'd seen.

There had been so many gunshots.

"Spider-Girl!" Steve had shouted, and she'd been seconds away from shooting a web at the ceiling to get a better vantage point, spider sense exploding like an electric shock up and down her spine, when there had been a burst of gunfire.

Iron Man had grabbed her, his body shielding hers as he'd tackled her to the ground. "Kid? You…". He'd started...then he'd flinched, a hand pressed to his side, a disbelieving scowl on his face. "The hell…"

"Mr. Stark…". She'd whispered, all too aware of the gunfire surrounding them. Sitting up and grabbing his arms, she'd pulled him backward behind a support beam to give them some cover. "Mr. Stark?"

His metal hand had been covered with blood and Penny had stared down at the hole in his armor in growing horror. "No...Mr. Stark…"

"It's okay, kid." He'd tried to reassure her, a weak smile on his face. "Just breathe. I'm okay. I'm…". His eyes had fluttered shut then, head dropping down onto the concrete floor.

"No...no!" Her voice had gone hysterical as she'd gripped the front of his armor, pulling hard and ripping the metal apart. "Mr. Stark!" Hands against the bloody hole in his shirt, she'd held pressure for what felt like hours before she had been pushed away.

"Move, Spider-Girl." Steve had snapped, gathering Tony in his arms, and Penny would have been left sitting there, shaking hands bracing her on the floor, had Clint not run in seconds later.

"Come on, kid." He'd murmured, firm hand under her arm. "It's okay. Let's go. Bruce is going to help him. It's okay." He pulled her to her feet and she'd stumbled, leaning on him. "Are you hurt?"

"He...it was...my fault...I didn't…"

"It's okay. It's going to be fine. Come on, kid." He'd led her into the quinjet, sitting her down in a seat out of the way, then raced to the cockpit. She'd yanked off her mask, clenching it in her hands.

"Clint! What the hell.."

"I wasn't going the leave the fucking kid, Steve!" Clint had snapped.

They touched down, Bruce and Steve racing the wheeled bed out of the quinjet, leaving her with Clint who crouched in front of her. "My fault." She whispered.

"We all mess up sometimes, kiddo. It's okay. He's going to be fine."

She let him pull her to her feet, a twinge of pain in her stomach giving her pause. But she didn't look down. Didn't do anything but let him lead her outside when she pulled away. "Kid?"

"I can't...I...I need…". Immediately he seemed to understand.

"Alright, kid. Stay close." He ordered, then headed back inside the compound.

Penny stumbles away, pressing a firm hand to her stomach.

So many gunshots.

It wasn't all Mr. Stark's blood. She wouldn't need the armory after all.

With every step her heart beat louder in her ears, feet barely responding to her commands. She was going to fall…

She didn't call out. Friday wouldn't say anything if she fell out here. So she made her way to the closest tree and slid down, gasping at the pain as she moved. She deserved this. She didn't want to live in a world where she'd killed Tony Stark. Didn't want to live with that kind of pain.

Tears dripped down her cheeks as she gasped for air. Her hand pressed weakly to her stomach. Now that she was focusing on it, the pain was overwhelming. She felt a whimper escape, then a sob. Whining deep in her throat like a beaten dog, she felt her body list sideways and let it, curling up into a ball on the ground, shivering from the cold that shouldn't have been so painful.

She needed help.

She didn't deserve help.

She cried then. Mouth open, eyes screwed shut, ugly crying like a toddler having a fit. Cries shook her body as she thought about Mr. Stark on the ground and telling her it was okay...then the way his head had hit the ground. Steve Rogers yelling at her. Clint consoling her. The hole in her stomach leaking blood she didn't deserve.

She cried for all of it.

There were approaching footsteps and she opened her mouth, the pain driving her to call for help she wasn't entitled to...that she didn't know if she even wanted...and then everything went black.

There were voices in the darkness.

"You didn't even check to see if she was okay?" Someone screamed. "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"Tony…"

"Clint said he found her bleeding out under a tree. She would have died, Steve!"

"She didn't say she was hurt…"

"You didn't even bother to check!"

"Tony you were bleeding out…"

"Yeah so was she! She's sixteen years old, and you left her there to die!" The was Mr. Stark. And he was mad. Angrier than she'd ever heard him. He was practically screaming. She tried to make herself small, but she couldn't move. She whimpered a little, praying he wasn't mad at her, and the next time he spoke, his voice was small and tired. "Get out." A hand brushed against her hair, the action strange and far away in the dark.

"Tony…". Steve's voice was small too. Sad. "I...I didn't…"

"Get the fuck out of my medbay." Now his voice was soft, but full of venom. "You would have let my kid die, Steve. Get out and don't come back."

Penny went back to the darkness.

More voices. "You saved her life."

"I just let her go. Tony, I swear…"

"I watched the footage from her suit. From the jet. You made sure she got on the jet. You stopped Steve from yelling at her."

"I let her walk off...I didn't even notice that she had a damn bullet in her stomach."

Penny shivered and there was quiet before a blanket was pulled up to her chin. "Penny?" She started to answer but slept instead. That happened several times. She would hear voices, sometimes one or two, always having a conversation...never talking to her.

Then, after what felt like a long time, a hand took hers. "Kiddo? Come on, Spiderling. That's enough sleeping, don't you think?" She didn't respond. Couldn't. "It's been four days, Penny. Your aunt is freaking out. I'm not...I know you're going to be okay. You're always okay...you have to be."

Silence.

"I could have killed Steve." He admitted quietly. "When I saw the footage of him yelling at you. Don't get me wrong, you definitely disobeyed orders, and we'll have a chat about that someday when you're awake and vertical."

Silence.

"Please wake up, Penny. Come on, honey. Please."

She couldn't ignore Mr. Stark when he said please, not after all he'd done for her. So she fought for it, closing her eyes tight and trying to remember how to open them. "There you go. Fri, turn the lights down. Close the blinds." He ordered. "I'm here, Pen. Take as long as you need. Just...wake up." He pleaded.

She woke up. Opening her eyes, she found the man sitting beside her, dressed in...pajamas? He was pale, an IV pole at his side, a needle in his arm. "You?"

"I'm fine." He assured her, reaching out and clasping her hand. "How about you? Anything hurt?" She took stock, flinching when she tried to sit up.

"Not if I don't move." She slurred a little.

"Well, you'd better not move then." He told her with the ghost of a smile. "It didn't look too good there for a while, but you're going to be fine." Mr. Stark said it as if by willing it to be true, he could make it happen.

She slept again, and the next time she woke up, May was there. Crying. Gripping her hand and sobbing.

Penny didn't stay awake with her long...just long enough to hold her hand and promise that she was okay. Then she slept for what felt like a long time.

When she woke up, her head was finally clear. Or, well...clearer. Mr. Stark was beside her, tapping away at a tablet, brow furrowed as he worked, and she watched him for a while. He was still pale. Still had an IV pole, and was still dressed in pajama pants. He wore a tank top that bulged out on one side...he'd be shot in the side. But how? How has it gone through his armor?

"How you feeling, kid? You with me this time?" He asked, looking up from his tablet, and she wondered how he'd known that she was awake.

"Um...yeah. I think so." She murmured, rubbing a hand over her eyes, careful not to move too much..careful to use the hand without the IV. He caught her flinch and frowned.

"You hurting?" She nodded, not feeling well enough to lie about it. He reached over, pushing a button. "Bruce should be able to get you some more of the good stuff." She nodded again, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "You going to sleep on me again?" He asked, sounding more fond than irritated. She shook her head.

"I'm awake."

"Yeah, I've heard that story before." He teased.

"How long have I been here?" She asked, not willing to let the pain show on her face. It hurt...but he didn't need to know that.

"You were out for four days. You woke up for the first time on Wednesday. Now it's Friday. Your school thinks you were in a car wreck. Your friends were calling every few hours so I finally just talked to them. I believe Ned said something about this being the best thing that's ever happened to him when I offered him a ride up, but I'm the best thing that happened to a lot of people so…". He shrugged, a smug grin on his face, and Penny had to laugh a little.

"Mr. Stark?" She asked then, voice small. He hummed, putting the tablet down and looking at her, obviously unable to lean forward any further. "I'm...I'm so sorry." She all but whispered, unable to look him in the face. "This...it was my fault. I...I didn't listen and I'm the reason you got hurt." Her voice broke a little and a tear escaped, going from hot to cold as it dripped down her cheek.

"Pen." Mr. Stark carefully scooted his chair closer, reaching out a hand and touching her arm. "Here. I can't really do a whole lot of leaning." He said with a smile, opening his hand. She took it, letting his squeeze. "What happened was not your fault, Penny. Yes, you disobeyed orders, which we can discuss later. But they had weapons that could penetrate my suit. You had no idea. Neither did we."

"You got shot protecting me."

"And I'd gladly get shot protecting you again, kiddo. I'm very happy with that particular choice of mine. You're my kid, and I'll always protect you if I can." His kid. She wasn't, not really, but she knew what he meant and squeezed his hand harder. "We're looking into those weapons, and I'm going to upgrade my suit. But I don't regret protecting you, kiddo. I never would."

Bruce chose that moment to enter the room and Mr. Stark stood. "Alright, Spiderling. I'm going to run to the kitchen. How about a smoothie?" She nodded, not sure if she could eat but feeling hungry. He squeezed her hand before leaving her with Bruce who stepped closer, pulling his IV pole along with him. "Penny?" He asked, his movements hesitant. "Tony called for me...you need more pain medicine?" She nodded, staring at the ceiling instead of at him. Surely he blamed her. "I can give you a little more. This is the stuff we use for Steve. I don't think it will cause any reactions...Friday is going to keep a close eye on you just in case." He adjusted something beside her, and a rush of relief hit her, making her relax into the pillow. I just need to check your bandages…" She nodded, not looking away from the ceiling as he carefully moved her blanket aside, then the gown she was wearing.

"It looks like you're healing really well. There will be some pain for a few more days, but you should be able to get up by tomorrow, and we can continue to give you pain medication." There was a moment of silence, then he spoke. "Penny?"

She released a breath, finally looking at him. She didn't want to be scolded, not now. The pain was fading but she felt strange. Groggy but not quite sleepy. Her whole body was heavy. Still, she looked at him, really to be yelled at. Instead, he took a deep breath. "Penny, I...I need to apologize."

"What?" She asked, eyebrows raising.

"I...I should have…" He ran a hand over his face, murmuring a curse under his breath. "I was so focused on Tony I didn't even check to make sure you were okay." She was shaking her head before he even finished.

"No...Doctor Banner...this was my fault!"

"Penny, you had no idea that those weapons would be able to penetrate Tony's armor. You were trying to help, and then you were shot, and none of us even checked to make sure…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "The first thing Tony asked when he woke up was if you were okay, and I swear, I thought he was going to kill Steve when he watched the footage on his tablet from your suit and the jet...I've never seen him so mad. He's, uh...he's barely talking to me." Bruce confided. "I tried to tell him that he needed to stay in bed, but he wouldn't hear it. He's been sitting in that chair with you almost nonstop since he woke up."

"I thought I dreamed about him yelling at Steve." Bruce snorted.

"That wasn't a dream. Steve kept trying to come by and check on you and Tony just about punched him."

"It wasn't Steve's fault." She argued.

"Doesn't matter, Penny. To Tony, you're his kid. His responsibility. And when he found out that Clint found you bleeding out a couple hundred feet away from the compound, he lost it." Bruce sat down in the chair, closer to her eye level. "And he was right to. You're a member of this team, and we're supposed to look out for each other. You needed help, and we weren't paying attention. So, I'm sorry. I swear, it won't happen again." She nodded, feeling heavy and confused.

"It's okay." Penny murmured. Bruce gave her a smile then, reaching out and patting her shoulder.

"Alright. Get as much rest as you can. That's what's going to help you heal."

"Hear that, kid. You're on bedrest until further notice." Mr. Stark said as he stepped back into the room, 2 green smoothies balanced in a to go drink carrier in one hand, dragging his IV pole with the other.

"Yeah, so are you," Bruce told him, pointing a finger. "She's going to heal a lot faster than you, especially if you don't lay down. I'm going to have a bed moved in here for you, and you're going to lay in it." Mr. Stark rolled his eyes, handing Penny a smoothie, then shooing Bruce out of his seat before sitting down gingerly in the chair.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll lay down." He grumbled, taking a long drink of his smoothie. "There are more in the kitchen if you want." Bruce sighed, sounding exhausted, before leaving the room. Penny heard him talking to someone about moving an extra bed into her room, and, glancing over at Tony, she frowned.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Course I am." He reached out, resting his hand on hers, and she flipped her hand over, squeezing. He was okay. He was really okay.

She knew she would need to ask him if she could talk to Steve...she would need to apologize. She would need to hear Mr. Stark lecture her about following directions and staying safe...but for that moment, she just wanted to close her eyes and know that Mr. Stark was okay.


End file.
